Do you find yourself saying “my emotions are making me crazy I wish I could get rid of them” Most of my clients do. As if life would be easier without them. Ya it seems like that sometimes. Because they can make life messy and most people prefer tidy and controlled. But when you get rid of one emotion you considered ‘negative’ you eliminate the positive side as well because they’re connected. You know how close laughing and crying can be?… it’s a very fine line. One second you’re laughing and the next you’re crying or better yet the other way around. It’s how we’re wired. You can’t have one without the other. If you’re interested in finding out about the technical aspects of our bodies and emotions the late Candace Pert did a lot of research and wrote a book The Molecules of Emotions. http://candacepert.com/ Her research is also featured in the movie ‘What the Bleep Do we Know’
So are you willing to give up your joy and passion to get rid of anger and sadness??
A lot of times in my clients first sessions they apologize for crying and I can see them trying to ‘compose’ themselves and hold back the tears. It looks so difficult. “No. I want you to let go and cry.” There’s nothing wrong with crying. It’s a release of pressure like laughing can be and it’s a connection to a deeper sense of yourself. From there we explore how they control themselves and they’re able to gain awareness of conscious or sub conscious beliefs they have about emotional expression. It’s a good start.
Letting our emotions release brings a sense of relief and hope. Like revealing a secret we didn’t know we were holding onto for a long time. Because the other option is expending a lot of energy to control them and hold them in. (people wonder why they’re so tired) It can feel a bit scary as if they’ll never stop because if you’ve held them in for so long the pressure has built up like a floaty being held under water. If you hold it under lightly it just bobs up to the surface when you let it go. No big deal. If you push it down deeper and keep pushing it explodes out of the water when you let it go. ERUPTION. Just like emotions.
Where do you think your emotions go when you push them away? It seems like they disappear for the moment but they don’t. And then you experience those moments when you’re acting in ways that don’t make sense either over the top or numbed out. Or maybe you find you’re upsetting the people close to you because your anger is leaking out sideways as passive aggressive behaviour. The common belief there is that expressing anger is bad and so you project your anger onto others. You can read more about that here http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201307/the-passive-aggressive-conflict-cycle.
So yes we really need our emotions, we couldn’t get rid of them if we wanted to although we still try. They are our bodies signals to us that something important is going on and it needs some attention. So show yourself some self compassion because opening to and sitting with your emotions you find they can all be unravelled to reveal love. A love for yourself and others. A love that’s been mistakenly obscured by fear.
Talk to your friendly counsellor if you want to learn more.
If you want to follow Liz’s blog, here’s the link: https://thespacesbetweencounselling.wordpress.com/
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