OK, so now you’re getting the picture about how your own personal emotional patterns and boundaries will dictate who you are attracted to and who is attracted to you. Our LOVE-O-METER and our matching luggage will send off signals to the right person who will find you irresistible.
The same goes for you. Have you ever had that feeling when you first met someone and it just felt SO right? Well guess what? This is part of the reason why.
There is one more reason that will help you understand this interesting draw to your potential mate.
Our family patterns play a huge roll in who we are attracted to. I will touch on one of them today. Were we born in a patriarchal family or a matriarchal family? In other words, who are in charge, the women or the men? Which parent controlled the money? Or, which parent did you either revere or walk on eggshells around? That parent is most likely in charge of your family dynamic.
In my family the women are in charge. And once I learned that it explained a lot when it came to dating. Men would almost never ask me out. And I was very single and available for a very long time, LONGING for a man to ask me out. The catch is, matriarchal women and matriarchal men will naturally be attracted to each other. And a matriarchal man expects women to be in charge. It’s not likely they are going to start asking anyone out at any time soon unless a woman makes it very, very clear that that’s what she wants.
It also explained how my BFF Liz, gets asked out all the time. She comes from a patriarchal family and feels comfortable with a man calling the shots.
Here is an example of how each of our conversations would go with men:
A guy will share something about what he does in business and Liz will say, “Oh really? Tell me more about that.”
Message: you are the expert here to guide me and I am listening to what you have to say.
If a guy said the same thing to me I would say. “I know. Isn’t that awesome? Here is what I would do in that same situation.”
Message: I am my own expert and I’ve got this covered. There is nothing you can teach me here that I don’t already know.
A guy might hire me to work in his company, but he’s definitely not going to ask me out if he wants to feel like he is in charge.
Now, I know we have it in our minds that traditionally a guy is supposed to do the asking and our fantasy longs for a perfect Jamie Fraser manly man. Please remember that Jamie is a character in a book (Outlander in case you haven’t read it) and was cultivated that way on purpose-to fulfill a woman’s fantasy and make you read the book. If you’re holding out for Jamie, instead of finding a good man that you are naturally attracted to, then you may as well get ready for many Saturday nights with a good romance novel.
The idea here is not to change yourself if you are still not happy or in a relationship. And there is hope.
That, of course, will be in the next blog.
If, however you are finding this information useful, there is a lot more in depth information like this in my book. Read the first 2 chapters here to see if it appeals:
If you like what you read, you can pick it up on Amazon:
Join us for your Free E-Book on building long lasting relationships. Plus receive the first two chapters of 'The Lime Green Plastic Covered Couch' FREE!
- A Course In Miracles
- dating help
- dating help for women
- family dynamics
- family patterns
- family relationships
- Free counseling advice
- Free Counselling advice
- how family relationships affect love
- passive aggression
- Personal Growth
- What Do You Want Wednesday
- what is love?
- Women Dating
- women dating advice