This is the common cry of any woman who is over 40 and still single. Where are all the good guys? Why do I attract Mr. Wrong all the time? Why am I attracted to bad boys and unavailable men? HELP!
If you are finding that the guys you are attracting are emotionally unavailable and not up for a relationship in the same way you want a relationship, then you should look no further than your own mirror for the issue.
According to the Lime Green expertise, (me) there are three reasons why we attract who we attract.
Reason #1. In my book, The Lime Green Plastic Covered Couch, I talk about the LOVE-O-METER. Consider it like a big thermometer or a needle guage that goes to 100. While we are growing up, our parents know how to love to a certain degree, and only to the degree that their LOVE-O-METERS are filled. So, say they were two people that struggled in relationships and that was also reflected in the degree they could show love to you and their LOM was only filled 25%. The rest of the 75% of the LOM will be filled with our insecurities, all of the feelings that didn’t get nurtured and needed love. This love level will be passed down to you, so your LOM will only be filled to 25%.
If you had a good mentor or someone else in your life that helped nurture those places that needed love and didn’t get it, it will kick you up a notch or two from where your family is, but it will be still be roughly around that area.
And here’s where it gets interesting. The guy you will naturally feel attracted to will also have a LOM that is filled to 25%. If you meet a guy that is filled to 50%, you just won’t get each other.
I know the first time I heard this I FREAKED OUT! I was dating a guy that was behaving so badly that I couldn’t believe our love levels matched. Looking back on it now, I realized his behaviour was quite abusive. That was the confusing part. This is not about behaviour. What I had to ask myself was why I would keep dating a guy that behaved so badly. I was hooked into the relationship on some level, and that was my indicator that we matched.
What are the other two reasons? And, then, what the heck can you do about it all? I’ll tell you reason #2 in my next blog. Or, if you don’t want to wait that long, you can just buy the book.
You can read the first two chapters to see if it appeals. http://thelimegreenplasticcoveredcouch.com/first-2-chapters-free/
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